On the roles that people play

S OMETHING ABOUT what Henri said earlier about being reserved, quiet and withdrawn started this thought. And then, of course, there too, was the discussion that ensued about walls, trust, relationships, being betrayed, being the one left behind, being the one doing the leaving, and getting surprised about how people fall into their respective roles in one's life.

I have found it unwise to think I know exactly where a person fits in my life as they enter it.  I have done this many times before.  Every time, every effing time, I have been disappointed.  Because who am I to know? I am nobody. Really. The people, the precious souls encased in flesh, the ones that really make my days worth living, they are often the ones I have to leave be, or let go.

I have received them in cocoons and allowed them the space and nourishment and courage to unfold as they are meant to and according to their timeframes. I had no idea, however, as to how exactly they will fit into my life, where they will go in my heart, or what they will bring with them, and what they will take away.

I have simply opened my heart up to them and given them the freedom to dance inside it.  And they have always surprised me. This person in particular. That one.

The good kind of surprise is when I really don't expect a person to be anything, yet ends up being everything. More, if I would be very honest.

And there are times that I could say I can do this all the time (allow a person in, open my heart for him/her), with all the people I meet.  I wish I could say I could do this with myself.



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Listening to: Take My Hand by Emily Hackett ft. Will Anderson